Who Do You Trust to Cut the Rope?

Why Real Leadership Starts — and Stays — in Real Relationships.

A week after layoffs were announced, I sat down for dinner with a recently laid-off leader that I admire. Their story wasn’t dramatic or bitter. It was clear, complex, grounded, and generous — relief, grief, and gravitas sitting side-by-side.

It’s a story still unfolding, one that reframes what we’ve all been taught to believe about leadership, layoffs, career moves, and relationships — a story that doesn’t end when the job or role does.

Real leadership isn’t measured by who holds on the longest. It’s measured by the strength of the relationships that survive — no matter who lets go.

What they shared was more than grace under pressure — it was presence. They also saw the bigger picture. They stayed in relationship with the person/people that cut the rope. And they challenged me to see, that just because we cut the rope doesn’t mean we stop moving forward in community, together. It’s the same relationship — just in a new configuration. A “graduation” of sorts.

Whether it was a goodbye that you chose or one that chose you, your position was never meant to be the lasting part — it’s the relationships you build that endure, if you take care of them.

The real currency in any workplace isn’t positional. It’s relational.

The Arena of Integral Leadership

We don’t get to lead in theory or simulation. We lead in real life. Under pressure. In motion. With consequences — always with consequences.

In the Century of Suddenly, change happens faster than our systems are built to handle. Roles shift. Strategies pivot. Industries morph, emerge and disappear. People we care about are impacted. And leaders are forced to — need to — get to — make hard calls.

In those moments, there’s no illusion of perfection. There’s just presence, humanity, and much needed discernment. If we’re doing it with integrity, the hardest part isn’t the decision itself — it’s the relationship complexities.

The Rope IS Our Relationship

The story that cracked this open for me comes from the mountaineering story of Joe Simpson and Simon Yates. Roped together descending Siula Grande in Peru, Simpson fell. Yates held on as long as he could. Then, in a whiteout storm, unable to see or pull him back up, he cut the rope.

Yates thought he was sending his friend to his death. But Simpson survived. And later, Simpson said: “I would’ve done the same.”

That rope — they were literally tied to each other. It was more than gear. It was trust. It was shared commitment. The rope was/is their relationship. And cutting it wasn’t a betrayal — it was an act of clarity and care.

At work, we use different ropes: titles, reporting lines, access, proximity. We build the quality of trust inside these fictitious structures. And when the structure changes or must be severed, it doesn’t automatically end the relationship. Not when it is a real relationship.

Real Relationships Transcend Roles

In our ecosystem, we’re working to make real relationships the norm, not a lucky exception. Not every professional connection will be deep or personal. (Professional doesn’t mean real.) It does mean that we aspire to build relationships real enough, meaningful enough and uncommonly trustworthy enough to withstand complex change.

• Real relationships with clients, partners, vendors, and teammates.
• Mutual trust & respect rooted in humanity — not hierarchy.
• Care and connection that don’t bow to titles, and aren’t defined by a moment in time or employment status.

The real currency and power in leadership isn’t positional. It’s relational.
If we want real relationships, we can’t just hope for them — we have to build systems and standards that make them more likely.

Naming the Standard

This isn’t about being kind. In fact, our “overly-nice” passive-defensive, approval and avoidance norms often block true kindness — and most of the business outcomes we care about.

Overly-nice is often just immature and self-protective — not kind, and not leadership. Overly-nice protects comfort. Real kindness — and real leadership — protects mutual trust and growth. We’re working on it. We’re working to align more fully with our values, more often. We’re working to replace outdated professionalism with something more resilient, more real, and more adaptive.

This is what it looks like when a company’s EVP and leadership system evolve. Not everyone will experience it this way. But we are naming the standard: real relationships. And we are in pursuit of that standard.

This is about leadership that co-creates and nurtures the level of intimacy and trust — cuts the rope when it must — and stays in the relationship whenever possible. Leadership isn’t just what you do when someone joins your team. It’s how you show up long after someone (or you) leaves too.

So, who would you want to cut your rope? And what kind of leader do you intend to be on either end of it?

Who do I choose to connect with & who do I trust to know when, to let me go? Everyday, I get to choose.

TY & FU

Thank you for climbing the mountain with me.
And FU for cutting the rope when you couldn’t hold on anymore.
I understand. I would’ve done the same.
Regardless of which one of us cuts the rope— we’re still good.
It’s different now, but it’s still good.
Because we’re always co-creating good.

I’m not suggesting everyone will see it this way or every situation allows it — but I think that’s what grace looks like in real relationships.

That’s the power of connection and separation— of gratitude and boundaries. That’s TY & FU energy. And when it’s handled well, with intentionality, it’s a bond that outlasts any org chart.

Real relationships hold a range of care — from easy moments to harder ones. But the thread is the same: staying human with each other, even when the rope gets cut.

This story isn’t about layoffs or leaving your job. It’s about the long game. It’s about the ecosystem — the collective intelligence, collective trust, and collective energy that fuel real progress, real speed, and real urgency. It’s about leaders who build the conditions & design their environment for lasting success — by adapting, moving with purpose, and staying in relationship with the people they’re building a future with — beyond the fictive titles, tenure, paychecks, and client, vendor, and partner lines.